Off he goes...

This was one of the hardest days of my life. Partially because I anticipated how hard it was going to be, and partially because I had no idea.

Dan went to China on business two years ago. Not only was parenting alone hard, but I missed him! Going to bed alone is lonely! And we were on opposite sides of the world so communicating was a challenge. Thankfully, we lived in Gurnee, so I had help and support from friends and family.

This time the separation would be longer with no (local) family to lean on. Dan said I could fly in some family and friends to help and keep me company. This was big. Essential, really. Looking back, it made a huge difference during our separation!

As the day approached, I would cry just thinking about it. Dan was supportive and encouraging. Then, the day before he was scheduled to leave, it hit him. He began to grasp the reality of our situation as he started packing. I knew then, it was my turn. I was up to bat. I needed to step up. I needed to be a support for him. I needed to encourage him and build him up. And, I needed to let him know that we were going to be okay. Even if I didn't quite believe it myself. Yet.

But, how? I couldn't even look him in the eye without crying! Would I choke? Would I strike out? Or would I swing as hard as I could, with confidence, for my family, and trust that God - the one who provided us with this opportunity - would bring him back home? Yeah, that. That sounds good. But, again... HOW???


Three words. GRACE OF GOD.


That is the only way I can possibly explain the drop off. I was able to look Dan in the eye, give him a big hug, and send him off, then comfort my boys in the back seat (one in tears) without crying and breaking down myself. The strength was supernatural. I had never felt so close to God.


Dan's glance back almost broke me, but He kept me strong.

The spirit and the adrenaline were pumping through me as I overcompensated for my boys. I was determined to protect them and comfort them. My heart hurt and I had no idea how I was going to do this, but I would do whatever they needed and be whomever they needed to get through! I would be supermom! Well, I would try. (not on my own strength!)

We had a great conversation on the way home: about missing dad, fun things we could plan to help pass the time while he was away... and graffiti. We had an in-depth conversation about graffiti. It's funny the things you remember on an important day.. and I will always remember that conversation I had with the boys about graffiti.  haha

Well, as much as we tried to talk about happy things, the boys were still pretty sad. Jake said, "Mom, I'm still sad. What can we do tonight to help us feel better?"

Let me pause for a moment.

I'm the mom who rarely bends the rules when it comes to diet. My boys always have a balanced meal - with a fruit and vegetable - and never do we ever have dessert before a meal. But.... since we were all barely hanging on by a thread, a genius idea popped into my head (supermom, remember?) :)

Me:  Hey! How about ice cream for dinner?!!

You should have SEEN those boys' faces light up...  ;)

And so a day we had been dreading didn't end up being so bad after all.    :)
Plus, we had a guest coming in just a few days, so we had that to look forward to!!!